Hands down, I place more pressure on myself than others. I am my worse critic and enemy. I put pressure on myself to be a good wife, mother and RN. Then on top of this I want to do a million things for myself like blog, cook dinner, and go to work all at the same time. To accomplish these tasks I have to do lists, reminders (paper, electronic, and human – my husband – who deserves a medal to put up with me).
This all stems from the fact that I am a future thinker. I eat breakfast and plan for dinner. I have weekly, monthly, yearly goals. All of this is great for retirement planning but it makes it hard for me to let go and enjoy the present moment. I am satisfied for only a moment. Then on to the next task/ project. Thankfully, my little two year old son, Ale, helps me break out of this mindset. He will only be a toddler once. I let myself laugh and be silly – even out in public. You can catch me singing The Wheels On The Bus as we walk down the street together– (“The wipers on the bus, go swish, swish, swish! ALL THROUGH THE TOWWWNNNN!!”). Then I once we get home I plan for his college fund.
It’s great that I’m a planner but it literally puts so much weight on my shoulders.
It truly effects me so. I recently went for a massage to try to ease the tension. The masseuse during the session stopped and told me that my shoulder muscles were so taught that it surprised him. He wanted to know what kind of work I did. Let’s see. I have stressful job, I am a planner, worrier, and mom of a toddler that does not sleep through the night. Yup, that would do it.
To the other future thinker mom’s like me who pressurize themselves, lets all take a quick cleansing breath together.
Picture from : Wikimedia Commons
In response to the Thursday, January 16, 2014 BlogHer NaBloPoMo prompt:
Who puts the most pressure on you — yourself or others?