Relic Of The Past

Yesterday, I ran into the husband of a friend of mine. The friend that I gave my breast pump to close to a year ago. He told me that we have to get together to catch up and let our kids play together. At the end of the conversation he said that he wants to return some the things that I gave his wife when she had the baby including the breast pump. She no longer needs it.

Wow! That brought back many memories and emotions. The lending of the breast pump to his wife sparked me to write the blog post Farewell My Breast Pump! Farewell!. I was also struck by the passing of time. Ale is a full fledged toddler and I have no desire to breastfeed him any longer. That’s for babies. We have new bridges to cross together. So I’ll take back the pump, but what will I do with it? Right now it will serve as a relic of the past.

——— Post Published 4/10/2013———————
Farewell My Breast Pump! Farewell!
imageYesterday, I lent my Medela Pump in Style to a friend of mine with a 3 month old baby girl who is returning to work. I lent it with great misgivings. I almost did not give it to her. My husband had to take it down from the cabinet and pack it for me. He reminded me that I was the one who offered it to her. “Yes, Linda you can borrow it! No problem! ” and that I had not breastfeed Ale in the last FIVE months.

So why the misgivings? Watching that pump being wrapped up was like watching my first year with Ale flash in front of me. I swear I felt a letdown of milk! That pump- like it or not- was my symbol that I was a super breastfeeding mama who survived it all to give milk to my bebe for his first year of life.

I pumped to build my supply. Then I was pumping to start a freezer stash. Then I pumped at work in any clean spot I could find. I doubled pumped, I single pumped, I fed Ale and then pumped. I PUMPED!! Coming home from work I proudly placed my 10-15oz of milk in the fridge and I indeed cried when the milk was spilt. Oh, I can hear the pump, pumping away now saying “Make milk, make milk, make milk”!

Giving the pump to my friend, who promised to return it, also symbolizes the fact that Ale is growing so fast. When I stopped breastfeeding and transitioned to cows milk he would still come to the breast for comfort and get the few ounces that I was still making. Now he is coming less and less. He sees that mama no longer has milk then reaches out for his bottle. Its hard. I cried and cried the first night I made the decision to stop due to work restraints. Now I’m mourning the true end of breastfeeding.

So now I’m passing my pump to my friend who no doubt will start to feel attached to the pump and in a years time will begrudgingly give it back to me. She will then sit down and blog about the end of breastfeeding and marvel at how much her baby has grown.
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13 thoughts on “Relic Of The Past

  1. Weaning is so emotional, isn’t it? 😦 And giving the pump to your friend (to borrow) just brought it to your attention a little bit more. Your little guy is SO incredibly blessed to have you as his mommy. I know pumping that much can’t be easy, so well done! xoxo

  2. Crying over spilled milk becomes so much more real when you’ve pumped. Shudder.
    It is so hard to let go of those things that remind us of our journey. I constantly have to remind myself that things need to be used – and if I’m not using them, better they go to someone else. Man, it’s hard sometimes, though.

  3. I felt the same way when I packed away my (incidentally the same) Medela pumps when I reached the 13th month of breastfeeding. It did bring to an end the stress of having to pump at work and lugging around that huge unglamorous pump bag with the bottles, pump and the ice box. But it was also terribly emotional. Knowing that it marked the end of a period, the end of that physical bond during breastfeeding which is quite irreplaceable, and the end of babyhood.

    Thanks for sharing! 🙂

    • Thank you! I’m so happy to hear that others feel the same. Like you said the Medela bag was so not fashionable but it was my link to my son at work. This is just the start of a new journey!

  4. Oh my goodness, this was so sad. My son is 1 month old and I already get sad at how quickly he’s growing up.

    I’m scared to see how I will react when I stop breastfeeding him!

    • Hi! What a sweet baby you have! Enjoy each moment. It’s true it passes faster than expected. What is weird is that I’m also looking forward to enjoy the next phases. So I’m sad but also having a lot of fun!

      • Definitely true, I’m excited to get to know my son as a human being.

        However his graduation from newborn diapers to size 1 diapers was very bittersweet for me!

  5. Pingback: End of a Breastfeeding Era | My Cracked Pot

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