Lately I have been reveling in the fact that things have been quiet here in toddler land. Ale still does not eat well but he is the tallest two year old I know. Sleep is getting better. Well, amazing really. He has been sleeping through the night (10pm – 7am) five out of the seven nights. Then… last night arrived. Maybe it was due to the blood red lunar eclipse that took place but Ale had the worse night terror yet. I sat next to his crib as he howled and cried for twenty minutes. He was drenched in sweat and there was nothing I could do. He even refused a bottle of milk. Finally, I just tried to hold him as he squirmed and kicked.
My father who lived through a war had night terrors. It was the result of the post traumatic stress of difficult times. What, however, could possibly be troubling my outwardly happy son? Is he battling out the rights to a toy car? Is he worried about mama and papa disappearing? Is there something else happening that I am not aware of? Who knows the depths of the subconscious of a toddler? I long for the day he can really tell me what he thinks and feels. (Something tells me I will be longing for this throughout my lifetime). Either way, I wish I could take the toddler suffering away. It’s heartbreaking to see him go through this.
I have often thought that there is a reason you don’t remember your early years. These years are joyful but full of suffering as your little one attempts to make sense of the world around him.