Little Boy Blue
When you’re away from home, what person, thing, or place do you miss the most?
I’m currently away from home. I am in Spain visiting my husband’s family. As long as I have my husband and my son close to me I don’t really miss my home. My home is wherever they are. I am also assured by the fact that my home in New York will be there waiting for our return.
My subconscious will tell you otherwise. When I dream of home I dream of the home I grew up in with my mom. Those walls will never leave me. Even if I have my son and husband in the dream the location of “home” is where I grew up. I will always want to return to her home and curl up with her on the sofa to relish in the familiarity that has entered every cell of my body.
On my days off from work I try my best to devote 100% of my free time to Ale. There are, however, days when I have to carve out time to make phone calls, pay bills, clean the apartment, and organize my life. If possible I try to do most of this during nap time. This is a one to two hour window of time to rush and get things done. If I’m super busy it will spill into the rest of the day.
This is when the working mom guilt sets in:
Guilt for doing chores and having Ale on my leg vying for my attention while I tell him to stop- Mama is washing the dishes. Guilt for using the iPad as a babysitter. Guilt for talking on the phone and making excuses for the sound of Ale playing in the background. Feeling guilty on the rare days I say – Forget it! The Cheerios can stay in the rug another day and I try to do something for myself. At the end of the day I feel like I failed miserably in my role of super mom.
These scenarios happen to all moms but I think there is more pressure on the working mom. As a working mom I have to work more than 40 hrs a week then go home and take care of my home and son as if I was a stay at home mom. This is often places way too much on my plate. In the end, it’s Ale who feels the brunt of it. He is the one who sometimes gets placed on the back burner. I greatly dislike this.
Time is so precious. Each day Ale surprises me with something new in his growth and development. I just wish there was a bit more support (family, friends, city, state and federal government) for working moms/dads so the “Sorry, I’m busy” phase is said to our children less often. This way we can enjoy each moment a bit more and be more present when we are at home.
Tell us about a time when you should have helped someone… but didn’t.