Relic Of The Past

Yesterday, I ran into the husband of a friend of mine. The friend that I gave my breast pump to close to a year ago. He told me that we have to get together to catch up and let our kids play together. At the end of the conversation he said that he wants to return some the things that I gave his wife when she had the baby including the breast pump. She no longer needs it.

Wow! That brought back many memories and emotions. The lending of the breast pump to his wife sparked me to write the blog post Farewell My Breast Pump! Farewell!. I was also struck by the passing of time. Ale is a full fledged toddler and I have no desire to breastfeed him any longer. That’s for babies. We have new bridges to cross together. So I’ll take back the pump, but what will I do with it? Right now it will serve as a relic of the past.

——— Post Published 4/10/2013———————
Farewell My Breast Pump! Farewell!
imageYesterday, I lent my Medela Pump in Style to a friend of mine with a 3 month old baby girl who is returning to work. I lent it with great misgivings. I almost did not give it to her. My husband had to take it down from the cabinet and pack it for me. He reminded me that I was the one who offered it to her. “Yes, Linda you can borrow it! No problem! ” and that I had not breastfeed Ale in the last FIVE months.

So why the misgivings? Watching that pump being wrapped up was like watching my first year with Ale flash in front of me. I swear I felt a letdown of milk! That pump- like it or not- was my symbol that I was a super breastfeeding mama who survived it all to give milk to my bebe for his first year of life.

I pumped to build my supply. Then I was pumping to start a freezer stash. Then I pumped at work in any clean spot I could find. I doubled pumped, I single pumped, I fed Ale and then pumped. I PUMPED!! Coming home from work I proudly placed my 10-15oz of milk in the fridge and I indeed cried when the milk was spilt. Oh, I can hear the pump, pumping away now saying “Make milk, make milk, make milk”!

Giving the pump to my friend, who promised to return it, also symbolizes the fact that Ale is growing so fast. When I stopped breastfeeding and transitioned to cows milk he would still come to the breast for comfort and get the few ounces that I was still making. Now he is coming less and less. He sees that mama no longer has milk then reaches out for his bottle. Its hard. I cried and cried the first night I made the decision to stop due to work restraints. Now I’m mourning the true end of breastfeeding.

So now I’m passing my pump to my friend who no doubt will start to feel attached to the pump and in a years time will begrudgingly give it back to me. She will then sit down and blog about the end of breastfeeding and marvel at how much her baby has grown.
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Drink Your Coffee

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Almost every morning I have an abandoned half empty coffee cup in the kitchen or on the dining table. Hours later my husband reminds me about it and wonders why I do this. He asks, ” Is the coffee bad? Do you not like coffee any more? Why are you so wasteful?”. My answer to my bewildered husband is that I get distracted.

Distracted? Yes. While I truly want to have that blissful morning moment where I sit down and drink my coffee my brain won’t let me. I’m constantly thinking of the next thing I should be doing- get ready for work, tasks around the house, errands I have to run, phone calls I have to make. Then there is Ale who calls out “Mama!” from the bedroom or calls “Mama!” while hanging from my leg. Then I go into mama mode and get Ale ready for the day. So I get distracted from my coffee.

My advice is the following- don’t have kids. They turn your brain to mush. While pregnant you have pregnancy brain and you start to forget little things and you can laugh about it- Oh! Dear where did I leave my keys? Then if you breastfeed forget it – here comes the worse memory loss similar to dementia- milk brain. You can’t remember a dam thing. If you are engorged you are just useless. Who is the President of the United States? No idea and who cares! All you know is that you must feed the baby or pump NOW! Then comes mama brain where you only remember things related to your child. Your brain is a huge sieve and filters out almost everything.

The crazy part is that if I did have my compleat cup of coffee I would be a bit sharper.

Now where is that cup? I could reheat it….

Mama!!!!

Oh Well…