You Can Tell Mama Anything

I recently saw a friend who has a boy who is 13 years old. She told me that her son is now turing into a teenager with wild mood swings. One minute he wants to be held like a baby next moment he wants nothing to do with her. She was prepared for this behavior but it was still a shock because her son was always so upbeat and even keeled. After the conversation what impressed me was the relationship of openness that she is trying to maintain with her son. Her main goal is to make her son feel welcome and comfortable about what he is feeling during this emotional and hormonal turmoil.

You are probably thinking, “Ok slow down Ale is only a baby!”. Yes, but I know that this kind of relationship starts now. He is already growing up so fast. I just can’t believe it. If I could, I would press pause for a while just so I can enjoy this special stage in his life. Thus, I take photos and videos all the time, hold him close, and even now I tell him, “Ale, mama loves you, you can tell mama anything”. One day I hope it will seep in and click.

Dark Glasses

This is not the face of a serious little man. This is the face of a prankster & joker. Just take a look at that face. There is not a serious bone in his body. I mean who else would hide spoons in the bathtub? Just the other day I could not find the remote to turn off the TV. Then later on, low and behold the remote was in a closed kitchen cabinet next to the Cheddar Bunnies. Was he trying to tell me something? I think he is hiding a secret behind those dark glasses. I’m his mother. Before long I will get it out of him. I will approach him when he least expects it and tickle him. That should do it.

Two Toddler Moments

1- Today when we came home from daycare Ale insisted that I help him walk up the stairs to our apartment. He no longer wants to crawl up. So I supported his arms and he used his little legs to climb each step. When he reached the top he gave a laugh of victory! We high fived! He then he entered our apt, walked straight to the TV, pointed and said “Bob!” (Bob the Builder).

2- On Sunday we went out to lunch. Ale ate his organic all beef hotdog and eyed my friend’s guacamole. I let Ale try it. His eyes lit up, grabbed the spoon from my hand and attacked the plate. He could not have enough. When he ate it all he looked at me like -Mama? What happened to it?

The little bugger has not touched an avocado in months. It was one of his first foods. I mashed it with pears. It was delicious. Then came the pincer grasp and the beloved avocado was too slippery to hold between is fingers in slices. From that point on he refused to eat any more mashed or puréed foods.

So now I’m excited! Avocados have finally made their comeback! Whoo Hoo! I’m going to make guacamole for my little guy! Last night I made the guacamole making sure it looked like what he had on Sunday. I also tried it to make sure it tasted as good as it looked. I presented it to my little love with a huge smile. “Look Ale! Look what mama made for you!” Ale took one look, and shoved it away. UGHHHH!!!

Bye! Bye!

I just left Ale at his daycare. He was so happy that he just walked right in and saw that no one was playing with his favorite toy. He turned to me waved and said Bye, Bye! Then ran to his toy then ran back to me and blew me a kiss and said Bye Bye! I’m so proud that he is finally happy at the daycare and has a lot of fun there. I do have to admit that my heart did break a little to know that he is already slowing becoming independent and that there will be many more times in his life that he will say bye bye! then run off.

Must Also Take Care of Me

I’m a nurse and I’m a mom. This makes an awful combination- I’m always taking care of others and my needs – emotional/ physical – get placed on the back burner more often than most. Yes, I love my job and little boy but when I come home after 10Pm after working 12+ hours and then I must take care of a baby it places a great strain on me. I’m so tired that I just want to pass out. I don’t know how it happens but I am always able to muster up the strength to keep on going. To make up for this I’m desperately laking in self care. 

Examples:

Sleep- If i sleep 4 hours its a victory.

Shower- many days optional. 

Hair- have not cut it in ages, its the longest its been in years.

Clothing- I wear the same items over and over. Most of my shirts have food stains or toddler goo. 

Its time to change this!

My husband for Christmas gave me a gift certificate to go to an upscale new spa. The gift certificate included a 15 minute massage. Now you would think that I would have run out the next day to get this done as my back was aching like never before. No, I put it off, and made silly excuses about my toddler goo clothing, my toes needing a pedicure, or I had to clean the house. Finally, after my husband hounding me about not going, I went last week. It was the best thing I have done for myself in a long time. Yes, I had my toddler goo shirt on, but I put on a little makeup and rocked it out!

The spa day was great and the massage was just what I needed, although a bit painful as my back has been bothering me. When the massage was over the masseuse said to me, “I must ask you what do you do for a living, as your back muscles were so tense- the most I’ve seen in a while. You must be careful as you can have problems in the future.” His comment was like a wake up call. Yes, I must take care of myself. If I can not take care of me, I can’t fully take care of my patients at work or my little boy.

So I’ve decided that I must- no matter what- make time for me. So my hair appointment is booked, and I will go shopping this week for a new shirt! 

Grandma & La Abuela

When I was a child I was lucky to just know my mother’s mother- grandma. My other grandparents passed away before I was born. In many ways I feel like I know them all from the stories and the very few photos we have of them.

Now that I have Ale I was thrilled that he would have two grandparents. My mother -Grandma and my husband’s mother La Abuela. La Abuela spent to weeks with us. Now she has to go back home. Unfortunately she lives far away. I wanted to make sure Ale spent as much time with her as possible during this visit. I know he won’t remember the visit but he will remember the stories and the photos. La Abuela will go back knowing all that she did with him and remember Ale’s infectious laugh.

Banana !

Big Day! Today Ale said “banana” and “Bob again” – in reference to watching Bob the Builder. What will he say next!?

TV, Ipads , and Books

When I did not have a child it was so easy to say– “When I am a mom my child is not going to do this or that!” One of the things I often commented on as my wish list as a new mother is that my son would not watch TV until he was over two years old. The other was that we wanted to expose him to books early on with night time reading. Now that I am a mom I know the reality of things. In fact just about every thing I said I was not going to do– I did.

I am the first to blame. I am absolutely addicted to my iPhone, and iPad and my Kindle. These items are always around me. The first imitation behavior Ale did was to walk around with any object- shoes, spoons, you name it and have a mock phone conversation. I swear there is fairy dust in the Apple products as Ale has always been drawn to them. He knows how to unlock my phone, play music and get to his favorite app. Ale is 16 months!! 

My husband is the TV watcher of the house. Granted its mostly news and sports- when he is home the TV is on. So Ale’s next favorite imitation was to grab the remote, point it to the TV and try to change the channels. 

Then my husband and I are guilty of finding TV programs for Ale. We discovered he loved the Bob the Builder books. Then one day we were looking at the TV program line up and saw Bob the Builder on demand. The new parents that we are were delighted to see this as a TV show. We turned it on and my guy went nuts. Now he points to the the TV through out the day and says BOB! BOB! — His words in his 16 month old vocab are, Mama, Papa, Yeah! and BOB!

With all this technology around my little guy how can I say no and really mean it? I’m trying my best to set limits. I am trying to push him more towards the Bob books, and other great children’s books. Unfortunately, the flashy Goodnight Safari app is way more exciting. 

Growing up in the 80’s I only had paper books, the TV was limited to about 10 channels and the phone was only in the kitchen. Ale’s world is so much different. Am I being old fashioned? Does it really matter that Ale does not read many paper books? I don’t even read paper books now!! Will all the bright moving colors and sounds make him have ADHD? I can hear my grandmother “Don’t sit so close to the TV!”.

My gut is telling me to go with the flow as I’ve been doing and try to find the middle ground.  But there is always that shadow of doubt in the back of my head. I guess that is what it means to be a parent.

Since Ale I no longer have any qualms about eating food off the floor- food is expensive! If the cookie does not have a hair- it safe!

Just got home super late from work, Ale is asleep so I want to see him but I dare not wake him up- we all need sleep.